April 16, 2004
i woke up thinking of dirt. specifically the way it smells. and the consistency of childhood dirt, the fine graininess of dirt in the angeles mountains at camp, the dirt under the neighbor's tree when i was 7, mostly about dirt during the time frame of ages 4-8 when we lived in the los angeles area.
and then, as usual, about a nano-second later the stress kicked in and i was fully awake. i try to lounge, but time is ticking, and the endless time off is winding down. last official day at the mothership is next week, then a few days after that i go back to a different division, in the pretty buildings, doing fun stuff, but contracting. and there are a thousand things to do in the mean time.
there's some psychological thing going on that i can't quite put my finger on. maybe separation anxiety. i'm having a hard time getting around to writing the goodbye mail. but that's on deck to get done today. i could go on and on, but this isn't the place, or the time. it's just weird to be leaving someplace after 8 years of doing the same thing. and i've really enjoyed it for the most part.
but for the last 2 months or more i haven't really been going in to the office (all legitimate transition reasons), and the result is that i'm also not used to having to get my shit together to get out the door. i'm looking forward to re-imposing structure, mostly. i'll be way more productive.
i suspect i should finish my coffee and get out of my jammies.
Posted by rosebaby at April 16, 2004 09:45 AM