« previous | Main | next »

March 02, 2004

listless is the word that i've been looking for. in the midst of this all i have bursts of energy and inspiration. but there are large chunks of listless.

when you have a lot of unstructured time on your hands it seems that another whole world opens up - inside your head. the dreams are weirder and worse, mostly revolving around catastrophic loss. i almost always feel the monsters breathing down my neck. in any given five minutes i could totally work up a really good teary meltdown. i somehow want to be saved from all that shit.

but then, the coffee kicks in, and it's daylight (it's all way worse at night) and things are fine. i've been told this is the general mood range when looking for jobs. the thing is, in some ways i really don't mind that i'm looking for a job. i do mind the consequences if i can't find one, ideally within the same company.

anyway. the coffee is kicking in, and buck has been licking the place where his IV was, so i have to get over to the drugstore to get something to cover it up. and just because that little pooper got out of the cone in the middle of the night, the retribution may be bright pink crinkly bandage wrap stuff.

that's about 15 minutes worth of stuff. the rest of the day is all about finishing the portfolio and networking networking networking. and hopefully staying caffienated enough to avoid any major mood swings.

Posted by rosebaby at March 02, 2004 09:40 AM