January 23, 2004
don't get me wrong, i like my life. my job, however (which i do enjoy), is not what i ever expected. even though in some circles it's considered pretty cool.
had beverages with an old friend last night - he is now tenured at a university, has a couple of kids, a minivan, a bbq, and a wife who is a doctor. that is so not my life. however, it could have been. i know him from my astrophysics days (yeah, really). it's great to see him happy and settled and doing important academic things. but dammit if it doesn't make me really look at my life.
even visiting with douglas can cause the same effect. i've known him a long time. we were both in school, although he was at harvard, and, well, i wasn't. he writes a lot of great music stuff for major publications and just finished a book. once again, so not me.
i have a lot of friends in this category. those who are now high-level academics, VPs of significant companies, research directors of very interesting stuff, doctors, artists who get shows, people doing big shit. it makes me feel kinda insignificant. not to mention stupid. in general i feel neither of those things. but lately it's cause for introspection.
Posted by rosebaby at January 23, 2004 11:06 AM