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April 20, 2003

and then someone drops into my life. unannouced, unexpected. you can't plan for these things. i'm out of practice. it's impossible for me to avoid doing mental gymnastics over this, but i must stop.

and my natural inclination when overwhelmed is to retreat. he is not, he is throwing himself forward, and being completely amazing.

i'm just more used to being alone. it's not a great thing to know this. just because you are comfortable with something doesn't mean it's good. and it's possible that i may have inadvertently ended up winning the lottery.

i just can't quiet the cacophony in my brain.

Posted by rosebaby at April 20, 2003 05:46 PM