r o s e b a b y: we did not shag

April 13, 2003

I want brave love, now and forever - love that demands courage and creates it. I want love that inspires me and my lover and everyone around us, love that's beautiful and makes all things beautiful. The kind of love I want is peaceful and passionate, stormy and harboring. It heals and protects, motivates and mobilizes. I want love that draws humor like lightning, and offers room to grow and change and age. -- Robin Pastorio-Newman

Ok, as foofy as that is, it pretty much applies. Tonight, in a moment of lucidity, my gin-addled brain had the good sense to not do something stupid. And, more than that, it had the good sense to give little london boy a bit of grief for not behaving properly the last time he was around.

He did beg (ok, just a bit, but still) for me to return to his hotel. No, says I, I am going home. Ok, I'll follow you there, says he. No, we are both going home alone says I.

I dunno. People will apologize and drool all over themselves if they thing it's going to buy them something, especially if that something is a shag. But, really, that was a long time ago, and I think I'm done with london boy. We only see each other occasionally, and... well, it was fun and all... and he's sweet, and lord knows it's been a while and all... however. It is time to hold out for brave. It is time to hold out for inspiration. At least it's time to hold out for something that will matter.

Mutual consent only goes so far. Sometimes you just get past something. And I'm past this. Past it at 90 mph.

Posted by rosebaby at April 13, 2003 10:41 PM

Comments

good on ya.

Posted by: Sarah on April 14, 2003 11:13 AM

as thoughts muse into vapor, and the tunes of ashes smoldering from past fancies cascade down like tears falling on lone ears to awaken the valves of the heart into a slow roar. the wistful whims of comforts lost fill the cockles as such a spring breeze on a mid-april morning.
yet the path for unbirthed tides and torrents cannot be seen nor heard, mapped nor planned, wished or dreamed, only grasped in the flicker between frames in the time that fleets all to fast when the moments are too slow.

Posted by: B on April 15, 2003 09:23 PM

"Brave love"... never thought about it that way. But it's true: there's a lot of courage involved or, when we give into things against our better judgment, a conspicuous lack thereof. Funny, but this has been on my mind of late, though I hadn't thought to put it in terms of bravery and courage. (I had been thinking about discipline but that's so boring.) In the past I have associated bravery and courage with action, but perhaps, where matters of love are concerned, it is the effort of passing the wrong things by that helps grow and leads us to what we really want and need.

Posted by: Steve on April 17, 2003 07:31 PM