a story from nate, in buenos aires
on the subway
=============
i saw the most amazing lady
she was spelled correctly
i didn't realize
my eyes were caught
until she hit me with her purse
and told me to fuck off
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March 30, 2005
March 29, 2005
ego maniacal or narcissist?
thankfully the comments are off, so you can't answer that question.
sometimes i go back to my archives. i like to read them. it's like looking at your own journal, but in paper journals all i write about is angst. on the blog there are generally happier things, and the things that are dark are written with more handwaving and less preciseness.
i like to go back and look at the early hints of B. showing up in the comments. he snuck in one day. if anyone had told me how the rest of the story would go, i would have been dumbfounded. and excited.
all hail cesar
once upon a time, this guy i didn't know came across the hall at work and started chatting with me. he liked my music. i figured out who he was, asked around, who is that guy? turns out he's just as nice as he seems. volunteers, is active in the community, is sweet to his girlfriend, the whole show. has crazy taste in music too as it turns out. we don't totally overlap, but where it does cross over i usually find out something new. he was an AMAZING Prince (formerly know as) for halloween.
so. in IM just now he made me promise to link to his blog. before i saw it. here you go, cesar. personally, i think you should start writing more. :)
so. in IM just now he made me promise to link to his blog. before i saw it. here you go, cesar. personally, i think you should start writing more. :)
March 28, 2005
write on the chalkboard: i will not start another project
i'd like to post a picture, of a tiny little knitting project, but i'm feeling far too guilty to do that until i finish dave's bday present and heather's gift. both could be done in a couple of evenings if i forced myself. it's not that i don't want them to be done. one has yarn that is really slow and hard to work with - but it's 95% done. and the other is just sorta boring (dave's bday). i will be highly gratified if i can do them this week. in addition to the design work for mardi, paul, and the girls. ass. gear. in.
March 25, 2005
inevitable really but that doesn't mean i have to like it
So I ran across tiger is missing, which, if you look at it for a second is really terribly sad. A cat that was given a birthday party has gone missing. Maybe he didn't like wearing the hat, and that's why he took a greyhound to austin, but my poor sappy heart thinks otherwise.
The other night we were watching some animated shorts, one of which was written by Milos Forman, about his dog going missing. He goes out to pond which has frozen over and sees his dog under the ice. Then he goes back and he's not there. You're momentarily relieved only to find that he goes back again to figure out which was the hallucination - with or without - and he sees that the dock is moving and the dog has in fact died in the water. It was completely heartbreaking. I had to look away, stop crying.
I'm pretty attached to my pets. I can't imagine them getting lost. And I hate to imagine the day when they leave this world. I've lost a cat and a dog in the last couple of years, that's enough for a long time. And I miss Diva every day.
March 22, 2005
we all live in a ...
we spent most of the weekend re-arranging the house, cleaning up, finding just the right lamp at Ikea, etc. b. did the last touchup on the hallway paint. our little hallway is schoolbus yellow. it's fabulous. we finally figured out about the quarter-round. we have to do that too on all the floor trim.
part of the etc. was/is food poisoning. no matter how reasonable it sounds, i'd never eat the chicken salad sandwich there again.
[stuff deleted]. personal rant deleted. i should just stick with paint colors for now. i feel like i keep constant company with an 800lb gorilla. and no one knows about it or sees it but me.
p.s. the comment link is there but they are turned off, i'm sorry, i still haven't figured out how to make them work without comment spam, and i may have to move/re-build all my web stuff anyway.
March 17, 2005
time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
Something that has been on the back burner for awhile and is going to get moved up is working with Buck to get his Canine Good Citizen certificate on the way to becoming a therapy dog. I have to check into the doggie blood donation too. The office of my old dog neurologist does that. I'm not insane. Buck is an amazing and healthy dog, and he gets to earn his keep just like the rest of us. :)
There is always too much to do. And I have to fit it all in between working and having meltdowns. There's not enough time for work. Ok, speaking of which, I'm feeling slightly better than a couple of days ago. The combination of being overwhelmed and frustrated topped with being sick added up to what felt like seriously whacked depression. And you get to that point (or I do) and I focus on the 3% instead of the 97% and life turns upside down and I become completely sad. Ack. I really don't know how people manage the amount of stuff they do, or maybe I just need more down time, or maybe they never clean or do their taxes or mow or care for their relationships. There is not enough time in the day. And then it's suddenly next week.
March 15, 2005
yellow submarine
we're 4 coats (2 primer, 2 paint) into this color and have to buy more. it's all because the hallway was previously a very bad pine green.
i'm not sure what it is lately. i probably just need to sit in our new yellow hallway a lot more (sort of a color version of S.A.D.), but the littlest things unbalance me. what i should tell a therapist is that the veneer is thin and growing thinner. i'm at a loss, i don't know how. i can't crawl out. and i have to never think about it or else the world crumbles. even now, i must stop. leave the building, become distracted. i really don't know how. i've tried. it's not working. and it's closing in.
don't worry, i'm fine (at least on some days).
cheery me.
brian calls it the car cover
oh let's go back to something less dramatic, shall we? especially since as near as i can tell jessica is going to blame me for that gerbil business...
that picture on the right is actually of *my* version of the gerbil dress. fear my gerbil!
that picture on the right is actually of *my* version of the gerbil dress. fear my gerbil!
March 08, 2005
we finally had to shoot old paint
mr. man and i spent this last weekend paining the bedroom. if some strange company hadn't eaten my other domain i could show you the old pics. i'm so very happy. i moved in almost exactly 6 years ago and i've wanted to paint the bedroom, badly, for 6 years. it's a lot easier when there's someone else making sure you don't just lay down for one more nap.
it went from crappy dirty beige to fabulous bamboo. and the ceiling is painted a half tint of the same color. so pretty. click on the pic and check out the other photos of the project. (did i mention that i ripped out the carpet one afternoon a couple of weeks ago? note the hardwood that was underneath.)
i was walking back from the cafeteria yesterday with the uber-fabulous april. you might imagine that cafeteria meatloaf would be one-step-over-the-line-sweet-jesus, but it was actually good. anyway, as we were walking back i was doing my hobble from sore muscles in my legs (up and down the tall bench stool 900 times all weekend).
me: sorry for the strange walk, i don't want you to be embarrassed to be seen with me. i'm walking like i got poked in the butt.
april: poked in the butt?!!! what? did he poke you in the butt??!! just tell him no! don't poke me in the butt!
ok, maybe you had to be there, but it was riotously funny at the time.
March 02, 2005
orson welles was re-incarnated into my dog
b. is very good at photo stuff, and getting better. he took some amazing pics of the kids the other night. every day i think i should have my camera with me and i haven't managed to do that.
so much drama lately. it's absolutely overwhelming. (for anyone thinking 'oh my god what happened' - don't panic - it's not mine, but it's everywhere and wrapped around me like a wet wool blanket.)
i like to knit, you've probably figured that out by now. but i can gauge my stress level by how badly i crave a comfy chair by the window for six or eight uninterrupted hours of knitting. getting out of town into the trees would be really wonderful beyond words as well, but we're without the rolling party bus right now. so sad. i really need a break.
the good thing is that i'm a lot more motivated when i'm busy, so overall things get done. we finally got on one cell phone plan and i no longer have any connection with at&t wireless. how sweet is that. vonage or lingo is next.
everyone is fine. pain levels are down, i just want some quality time with B. he is my rock.
so much drama lately. it's absolutely overwhelming. (for anyone thinking 'oh my god what happened' - don't panic - it's not mine, but it's everywhere and wrapped around me like a wet wool blanket.)
i like to knit, you've probably figured that out by now. but i can gauge my stress level by how badly i crave a comfy chair by the window for six or eight uninterrupted hours of knitting. getting out of town into the trees would be really wonderful beyond words as well, but we're without the rolling party bus right now. so sad. i really need a break.
the good thing is that i'm a lot more motivated when i'm busy, so overall things get done. we finally got on one cell phone plan and i no longer have any connection with at&t wireless. how sweet is that. vonage or lingo is next.
everyone is fine. pain levels are down, i just want some quality time with B. he is my rock.
listening right now: decembrists