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it's been awhile since buck has been to iron springs (and you have to use airquotes if you say resort in the same sentence). six of us and two dogs are headed to the beach soon, it will be nice.
it's always the same problem for any trip - it was the same with phoenix. you need the same amount of stuff for 2 days or 2 weeks. the only thing that varies is how much dog food you take.
yes, sad/cranky last night. it happens...
one of those nights when you wish you had the secret blog. sometimes it feels like it used to be different, and like it has changed and will never go back. yes, then once. after you've spent all day crying about how sweet things were. and you spend too much time wishing.
somebody whip out the poetry. i'll take anne michaels or mark strand or li-young lee, or theodore roethke. oh wait, that's my job.
anyway. i got about 200 entries through the archives. long, boring, but progress. the really old stuff will be after that.
i'll be ready to work again in a week or two.
how's that for a non-sequiter. yes, well. time for bed.
having a bit of time on my hands this morning i took buck out to fun farm to play for the day and stayed for about an hour and got all muddy from 20 wet dogs bringing me balls out of the pond. the girls also gave me a CD with 106 photos on it - there are most likely more - of buck over the last few months.
the one where he looks psycho is a detail of the one above it. clearly he was getting into the chase thing.
buck has turned into the best dog, such a joy.
so, here you go.
well - sort of. most of them are listed, and i'm working on the style sheets, and the really old stuff isn't up yet. but i did figure out some stuff with global replace on 1200+ files. i'm willing to spend some time on this, but doing majorly fussy hand editing on 1200 files was a bit much.
soon i'll be posting my hard-earned wisdom about transporting archives from older movabletype into movabletype 3.0. you can share in the blood and pain.
b says "so don't blame me if the look like ass".
i almost forgot to mention it (sometimes it's hard to keep a weeks worth of blogging in your head). on the way out of town when we were in phoenix we piled into the brother's cobra (with luggage and not more than a spare cubic centimeter) and took a quick trip to cosanti - sort of the commercial arm of arcosanti. if you can call anything to do with soleri actually commercial. it's been about 10 years since i've been to arcosanti, which is pretty strange and wonderful if you like the idea of communes. it started out as the proto-genesis for a self-contained community. i don't know if that's still the goal. but they make some groovy art, and the wacky cast buildings are wonderful, and will take you back to the 70's if they're in your memory.
sorry about the strange behavior of the site lately. it stems from MT assigning ownership of some files to 'nobody'. ack. i'm almost ready to revert to 2.64.
once again part of me wants to hide until it's all easy again. last time there was time off everything was also overwhelming, but then it was buck having surgery and worrying if he would ever heal. the funny thing is, there's a big part of me that wants to take a left turn with work stuff. new jobs (even if they are a shorter-term freelance gig) are very enlightening, and it's like relationships for me, each one refines my sense of self and what i think i want. we'll see what plays out.
the weekend was very seattle. saturday we went to the fremont outdoor cinema which was fun. i was mocked for crying when kermit sang rainbow connection. but it was still fun. (the previous part of the day was so hot we just lived in the basement minus a quick trip down the hill to the beach so buck could get wet - and covered with lake algae). sunday afternoon we headed to the capitol hill block party, mostly to find a rat city roller girls t-shirt for me, but b. also totally scored with a shirt from bonnie heart clyde and a painting by soopa j delux. the whole i heart rummage gig is way more groovy than i expected.
then off to see grace's studio and a petit beverage at le pichet.
summers are crazy busy, and i'm fairly certain this break from work will be short. that's good i suppose, but i have approximately 2.23 million ideas for projects and things to do. however most of those won't cover the mortgage.
in the mean time, buck needs a walk.
what a week it's been. dad in the hospital, found out monday that today was going to be my last day at work - thanks to budgets and re-orgs. it looks like my pimpin' agency is going to come through with some other stuff. if i could afford to just take the summer off i would. i loved the last gig in some ways, there were a couple of things i'd change, but it was good. everything turns out for the best, so i'm not terribly worried. i ended up going to the doctor today to find out i just need to poop (hi dooce). i've never had this issue in my LIFE. i'm a good pooper. like clockwork. but apparently not now. then the doc informed me that i have some other issues. thanks i'll wait for the blood work before i get worked up. i have other stress on my dance card right now. i'm too tired and fried to even remotely try to be funny about it.
on the phone to gracie tonight and she laughed. "you have the most embarrassing doctor stories"! i suppose - but that's why i end up at the doctor. if i had the archives up i'd remind y'all about the trip to the ER with b. last year. at the end of our first date (a week long) i thought i had had a brain anurism. got a cat scan, the whole show. brain was fine. do you know that some people get migraines every time they have sex? yikes. there's a term for it. thankfully it's not relevant in my life.
in the manly measure of how he feels, dad says that he usually could do 15 minutes of yardwork (weeding and stuff) and then he'd have to sit down for 15 minutes. after surgery he went for 45 minutes of yardwork and was ok. that's a 200% improvement on the manly yardwork scale. so that's good.
it's hot, it feels like someone kicked me in the kidneys and i would love to poop.
spent the entire day sitting around the hospital. but dad is doing fine. thankfully. there was definitely a minute where it looked like it was going to get more serious quickly. but dad has a very good surgeon, and they are conservative, and it didn't end in an emergency bypass.
both my parents are a bit stoic. dad would never say he felt like shit. my mom never cries. today was the second time in my life i've ever seen her cry. the only other time was when the dog died. in a way it's comforting to see some vulnerability. i could go on, of course. at the end of the day, now, sitting here, it matters most that i'm glad i'm here, with my family, with b., and that dad's ok.
the good thoughts are appreciated. keep it going. thanks so much.
i'm exhausted, it was 114 again (at least). off to the pool, then to bed.
i don't know what i'd do without b.
it was 114 degrees today. got off the plane last night after several delays (and 10.5 hours from seattle to phoenix) and started laughing like we'd magically stepped into a parallel universe called 'just-like-living-inside-an-exhaust-pipe'.
at 1:00am last night it was still 95 degrees. and it just doesn't stop.
realizing we had a few hours on our hands this morning we decided to find ourself a car (me: honey, what do you want me to get you? him: oh, a crown vic is fine... and so we drove around today in the retirement mobile, pushing the buttons, enjoying the comparative luxury). after finding said car, we drove out to taliesin west.
we're slowly filling in the catalog of frank lloyd wright buildings that we've seen. i want to take b. to falling water. taliesin west was great to see. i'm pretty sure that FLW would roll over in his grave if he could see some of the commercialization of his designs, but then again, he was the consumate salesman - so i could be wrong. still, there is magic in the place - probably less than some others - cedar rock in iowa or falling water are my favorites - but a magic none the less. here is a man who succeeded better than nearly anyone in recent history in controlling (for better or worse) his personal universe. if it wasn't what he wanted, he made up the answer, and then apparently made everyone else believe that answer.
while we were doing this my brother was arriving at the hotel. he walked over to get water at the local 7-11 and turned his head to the payphone only to see one of my oldest and best friends standing there using the phone (i'm not from here, neither is said friend, said friend was in the wrong state and a weird part of town). a completely random event. that's what happens when you don't have a cell phone. you have to stop in the 114 degree heat to use a payphone....
tonight b. and my brother and i all slipped into broadband coma. finally got hooked up in the hotel and in a strange 21st century ritual we were all pulling out power cords, finding a place to sit, preparing to insert the needle. each of us trying to appear that we were doing this casually, not like hungry baby wolves looking for a teat.
dad goes in for surgery tomorrow morning. think a good thought for him. please.
it's pretty lame that i was excited that i had time to write 3 checks and take the polish off my toenails tonight. it's summer, so there is never any extra time. we're going to see my father and give moral support during surgery and i'm looking forward to the boredom of waiting around. that's what summer is like.
there are so many stupid things that i've meant to mention while the site was down. one thing is about the fleet of UPS trucks that i see frequently (no, not like the elves that live in the bookcase). if i hit the end of the freeway at just the right time the UPS fleet is leaving. it's pretty funny to see about 25 brown vans in a row getting on the freeway.
there used to be juice man that would cross the street by where i get on the freeway every day at 7:56. but i'm not at that intersection as early lately. clearly it's due to staying up late blogging now.
be well. xo
cranky day at work, picked up the dog, picked up b., went home, on the way home saw half of mion driving home too. hard to miss that australian guy swearing at trucks in the convertible yellow 67 mustang (sally). so, of course we chased him home, sneaking around the block to catch up. for as long as i've known them, and mion has known bribecca, we've never been to each other's houses. there's a large circle of friends that tend to congregate downtown, at the center of the universe (aka grace's loft). but mion only lives about a mile from us. mion graciously extended a dinner invite, so we did our stuff (involving a trip to the center of the universe) and headed back north.
such a lovely dinner. at the lovely home of mion. mmm. lots of animated chatter about everything. and the other half of mion has lived in that house for 10 years - but she is well ahead of me on projects. i need to get busy ripping out walls and floors now. probably just do a little re-tiling before bed...
and now to the more dubious point (or rather the thought that continues to run through my head - if i were to be stuck on a desert island, there are things i'd need. more specifically, i'd need lotion. not little bits of lotion, plenty to keep this pale skin moisturized. some people wash their hands a lot, i put lotion on my hands a few times a day, and, well, the world is a better place afterwards.
i was going to say something else too, but the wine has taken it away to someone elses brain instead.
grace tells me i'm strange. usually it is timed with when she sees my IM screen name of the day. it used to change several times a day, but now that i have themes i am sticking to one a day.
last week's theme: municipal positions in small california towns, culminating in Rodeo Queen of Dew Drop, CA.
this week's theme is food twister. be careful where you have to put your foot!
i'm so tired of the snotty people who feel entitled.
one year ago was our first date. even though things were definitely involved before that. he told me he loved me before our first date. it all kinda started in march 2003, then we both dated other people for almost exactly the same amount of time to the hour. when things ended with those people our sporadic correspondence picked up again and we'd spend 4-5 hours a night on the phone. every night. for a couple months.
he came to seattle. i was cautious as usual (lord knows i have a history of failed attempts at things). and even for all the goodness i wasn't jumping in with both feet. he left a day late (due to that trip to the ER), and i was ready to have some time to myself again. but about an hour after he left i wanted him back here. i thought, the phone calls will probably dwindle and i'll write that off. but the wheels were spinning, and i wanted to know what would happen. a week after he left it was clear that he needed to come back. so, a couple days before his birthday i flew to charlotte to drive back with him, in an incredibly packed vw westfalia.
i am still astounded that he did that. stopped his life, made a sharp turn, and moved to seattle. for me. i am also astounded that since that time we've barely spent 4 hours apart other than our work days. and that is still such a good thing. he is a kind and generous man who i love being with. i think i'm a better person for it all. he teaches me patience. we are creative together. there's a great amount of respect between us. and we are great friends.
a month and a day ago we got engaged. b. posted a pic of the engagement ring that we are waiting for.
it's been an amazing year. life continues to surprise me. it's a good life. i wondered how my life would be when i turned 40. i can't imagine it being better. i've had such fun getting this far.
and i have a great companion and evil twin for the rest of the ride.
pardon me while i play with my stylesheets.
i am thinking now that god simply does not want me to have archives. all those things i said were just too much. or something.
but i miss them already.
there seems to be no way to re-import them. oh, if i hadn't been an ass and instead of copying 1200 php files i'd done the right thing and hit EXPORT... well we'd all be drinking gin and tonics on the beach by now. i like the idea of starting over with the templates and such - that's a bit overdue, but all the words, the drawings, god knows what else is missing.
i have it all, or i believe i do, but at this point having archives means editing all 1200 of those files by hand. which also means that i've probably lost the comments.
advice welcome. but if you just want to tell me that i'm an utter loser for not paying attentionn before i hit delete, well, i'm clear on that.
the 4th weekend was really fun, even the extrordinarily hot drive wasn't that bad. and i got to stop at the olive place in north-central california and stock up on briny goodness.
finally got to meet b.'s beautiful-souled friend andrew too. (hey andrew)
below are a couple of pics. b. being silly (hey it's on his blog, so i can post it too even though it's really silly) and the sound system for the event.
hard to believe, but i think things are working again. next step is getting the archives back.
in the mean time - all is well. over the weekend b. and i went to mini-burning-man in the tahoe forest. it was great, i'm sunburned in places i shouldn't be, lots of good music from the unimog, lots of good old fashion hippy fun. :)
buck is good, dad is going in for an angioplasty soon (think good thoughts, please please), and b. continues to be the most amazing man in the universe.
i want to get the archives back - it's our one year anniversary on sunday. :) (of our first date, you'll recall that our second date was moving him across the country - what a year!)
if y'all are still out there, thanks for your patience. rosebaby will be back to functional any minute.
xo
